8 Types of Time Villains

The universe may only be 14.6 billion years old, give or take a week, but we humans get only a small chunk of that time. Every day we encounter Time Villains who want to deprive us of precious minutes we could be spending with family, writing that novel, or quietly meditating. Take control of your own time by avoiding these 8 types of Time Villains:

1. Disregarder - Decides you are not worthy of full attention, and will sprinkle “Uh-huhs” into half-listened to conversations while checking their email and taking calls from people more important than you.
2. Derailer –  Starts talking with an incomplete thought and then can’t get back on track. It’s a cliffhanger without the payoff.
3. Dawdler – This describes many children and teenagers: when they know you are in a hurry to get somewhere, their ability to slow the pace of getting ready increases exponentially. If you’re still dawdling in your 40s, move out of your parents’ basement.
4. Detailer – What should be a short description turns into a lengthy story. A trip to buy bread can contain details on back pain, the price of oranges, the staff on duty at the store, including the new person, and the relative firmness of every loaf of bread.  By the end of this story your eyes have glazed over and you’re checking your iPhone.  
5. Interrupter – You’re in the middle of something, and this careless, clueless time villain brings your work to a halt to relay the results of the latest brain fart no matter how critical it may be.
   
6. The Treadmill – This Time Villain keeps running in place by repeating the same inefficient processes over and over again. They forgot they asked you to work on something and moved forward themselves. Or you fail to give clear direction causing you to have to re-do the work.
7. Monologist  - Were it the words of Shakespeare that flowed from this person’s mouth without breath. Alas! No, it is a person who keeps talking without breath, and without you getting a word in. With that kind of breath control, they should take up swimming, but you need a way out of this conversation without appearing rude.
   
8. The Zombie  - This is when you are your own time villain. You waste your own time on social media, your smart phone, or trying to find any way to keep your mind occupied. Really, you might as well start shuffling around and start looking for braaaaaaaaaaaaaainnnnnnnsssssss! The whole zombie apocalypse is a metaphor for smart phone usage - oh, look a text!