Confronting the PSYSOB

If you’re a freelancer, small business owner, or in any type of sales role, you will eventually have to deal with the PSYSOB (pronounced “sigh sob”). The PSYSOB is the prospect that tells you to “Pound Sand, You SonOfaB****.” They may not say it in these exact words, but there’s very little room for doubt as to their meaning.   

The PSYSOB pounces on your timid, pushy, interrupted-their-day, not-relevant, poorly-explained, or you-don’t-understand-their-business-and-overwhleming-lack-of-interest sales pitch. You may want to cry or punch the PSYSOB in the face, depending on how you handle rejection. Crying is the better option as it will less likely result in an assault charge. If you’re on a phone call with the PSYSOB, you’ll want to smash the phone. This is okay if it’s a land line, not so okay if it’s your iPhone. You will need a new phone.

It could also be that the PSYSOB has had a rough day - is in the midst of a divorce or death in the family. Maybe the PSYSOB’s business is crashing no one wants to do business with a PSYSOB. The PSYSOB could be balding - trust me, this is a reason for despair. Fair enough, but the PSYSOB is also a bully and gets off on an aggression. In short, the PSYSOB gives in to the Dark Side of the Force.

The best thing to do at this point is sign the PSYSOB up for a variety of email newsletters. Actually that’s a bad idea because the less time you waste on the PSYSOB the better. Face it: there are clients who want to talk about your products or services, and those people will actually pay you for your time and skill, and twill be happy with the value you provide. Those people are worth your time. The PSYSOB is not worth your time.